September 13, 2007
So last fall Rene had discovered that Ruby would become mesmerized by the TV whenever a football game was on. We laughed and thought it was probably just the small, fast movements and colors. Here we are a year later and she is hardly an infant anymore tricked by flashing lights. This kid actually likes football! Being that her first Padre game was at 6 weeks old, it's not surprising that one of her first pseudo-words has been "baseball" (pronounced "bay-ba") but to see her love of football is uncanny. She will actually sit there and watch an entire set of downs (whatever that's called). One day a few weekends back she actually stole the remote control from Rene, started flipping through the channels (yes, she knows how to do that already) and when the TV hit a football game she looked at Rene with surprise and threw down the remote - DONE! Naturally Rene can't be happier to have a child who is as into sports as he is and it's great for me because he has full on daddy time with her on Sundays. We'll just have to keep her beer guzzling down to a minimum for the next 18 years or so.
September 1, 2007
August 23, 2007
- Good vibe from the provider (it's a guy - I like the daddy-daycare thing)
- Clean house/facility
- Child-friendly & stimulating environment
- Happy kids in Ruby's relative age-range
What I didn't get was:
- Organic/whole foods menu
- Location near my home
We visited a few times for a couple hours prior to starting and then we dropped her off on two separate days last week on a "trial". She was fine when I dropped her off - playing with the other kids and the new toys. Day two was pretty easy also. then we had a three day weekend where we (Rene, Ruby & I) were practically joined at the hip. Monday came and it was a different story. Thank god Rene dropped her off that morning because he said she cried pretty hard. Then on Tuesday even harder. I picked her up both those nights and she seemed exhausted. I would be too if i was playing with other kids all day, every day. It would probably be like me shopping non-stop each day - fun but very exhausting. Both last week and this week she's come home with a diaper rash (not a common thing in our house). I had Rene ask the provider if they could change her more often. I didn't like his defensive nature when answering, "we change her every hour" - my ass! That got me set off about finding out what exactly I'm entitled to ask of a daycare provider. I did a ton of research and came up with a list of nap & feeding guidelines. I dropped her off today and discussed my list with him. It felt awkward. I'm afraid of being that annoying parent. But I'm even more afraid of giving up my control as Ruby's parent to someone else whose style may not match ours. There was naturally a bit of defense that came from him (hey I get defensive when my boss calls me out on shit too). After being there for more than 30 minutes I finally got up to go and Ruby lost it. Blood red face and blood curdling screams. I told her I'd see her later and walked out. I hid behind the garage (out of sight) until she stopped crying (minutes) and then left. I was sobbing before i left the driveway. This overwhelming guilt came over me that I could leave my daughter crying like that in a place where she obviously doesn't (and can't expect to) get the same level of attention she does with us. I didn't even have work today. I just came home and took a nap and then went and got an ice cream cone. Is it wrong for me to need some peace and a slice of time to myself? Is it selfish for me to not spend every available moment with her? We spent the morning at a La Leche League meeting before daycare so it's not like I didn't want to be with her. I just feel like I need to recharge.
So, I'm just feeling icky and paranoid (which doesn't men that I'm wrong) and guilty about this whole daycare thing. I wish I had the capacity to hang with her all day everyday but I just don't. I know I am the best mom I know how to be and that I'm not without my limitations. I guess there comes many times when she has leave the nest to go to uncertain, uncontrollable horizons and I need to find some peace in that. She's in a good place with happy kids, kind people, and a clean, safe enviroment.
August 8, 2007
This is the new 35 year old me...happy, still super fun, more confident than ever, a loving mother and wife, and most of all - an amazing women (if i do say so myself).
What an awesome life (both wonderful & challenging) these years have been. I am so blessed on this day to have my health, my friends, and my family. I am strengthened everyday by the love of the people in my life. Knowing that we have all crossed paths in this spec of time is so awe inspiring. How special every single interaction is! I don't take any of it for granted. My promise to myself & those in my life is that I will try to be the best person I can be - fulfilling my true potential so that I can be an inspiration to my daughter.
I have loved being in my 30's. I'm not sure how I feel about being officially middle-aged but I think it fits pretty good. Shit, I've lived more life in these 35 years than some people live in an entire lifetime. So Happy Birthday to me!
August 6, 2007
We went to my cousin's wedding on Friday (congrats Lindsay & Tony!!). It was so beautiful. We had to leave early though since we are now the parents of a youngster past her bedtime when the champagne was rollin' out. After putting Ruby & I to bed Rene partied with my family until the weee hours of the morning becoming the peace keeer for the inevitable drama that reared its ugly head after too many cocktails. Oh, family drama is so much fun! It was such an amazing visit with my cousins, aunts, uncles, mom, siblings. We really got to spend some valuable time just hanging out. It reminded me that no matter how much I may bitch about my family - I would not be complete without the connection I have with all of them. I want Ruby to have that strong sense of family where you can truly be your most authentic self and still be loved by this strange grouping of people that share your DNA. Family rocks!
Then there was the other side of the weekend!!!!
G-ma was amazing and took Ruby up to her house for the night so Rene & I could have a little fun. Saturday was my dear friend Sabrina's birthday. Rene & I, along with Sabrina & her husband Joshua & her brother Jonathan, went to the coolest place called Supperclub. We laid in beds in an all white club/restaurant while eating a 5 course dinner, sipping champagne and extravagant cocktails, and feasting our eyes on some very avant garde performance art. The menu tried to be something of a Top Chef tasting and on some levels it succeeded; here's how the course broke down:
- Heirloom tomato and bread salad with fresh mozzerella (super yummy!)
- Tuscan white bean soup with cheese crostini (boring)
- Diver scallops in some tomatoey compote served in a metal dog food bowl (super yummy and fun)
- Seared duck with bread stuffing (stuffing good but dry, duck was sweet - I'm not a fan of duck so I was mildly scared)
- Chocolate mousse with sweet cream atop a thing chocolate cake - aka Adult Ho-Ho (super yummy & decadent)
August 2, 2007
Since daddy has been giving Ruby music appreciation every morning thanks to itunes & you tube, she is in charge of making our road trip play lists. She really does have a knack for a good mix. She bumps to Beyonce & Outkast and then bangs her head to Bad Religion & Pennywise.
We're headed out on our first family road trip tonight. We're driving just past LA tonight and then the rest of the way to the Bay Area tomorrow. It's my cousin's wedding tomorrow night and I'm thrilled to show our precious Ruby off to the family. Most of them haven't seen her since Christmas or even last summer when she was only weeks old. I'm sure we will have tons of fabulous pictures to show & stories to tell when we get back.
Wish us happy travels and a peaceful passenger...cross your fingers!
July 25, 2007
Ruby turned one yesterday and we let her eat cake...She devoured ever last bite - it was hilarious! Surprisingly enough she went right to bed afterwards and had a perfect night sleep. Aaaahhhh, chocolate ecstasy!
Ruby's new birthday shoes...we found an awesome pair of baby/toddler shoes that have the best of leather soft soles & rubber insets. These Rile Roos are her first (of I'm sure to be many) pair of Ruby Slippers. They go perfectly with the beautiful hand loomed dress from Guatemala that Ruby's Tia Holly brought back from her recent visit. I decided that Ruby needs other colors in her life besides pink. After all, she's not a baby anymore (she told me to say that - wink wink).
July 24, 2007
- Unassisted steps taken - 0
- Seconds standing unassisted - 1
- Drawers/Cabinets opened & emptied on a daily basis - 7
- Daily naps - 2
- Average daily hours of sleep - 12-14
- Words - ba ba (bye bye), ki ka (kitty cat), maow (meow), ma ma ma ma ma (mommy), pa (daddy), ga (all gone)
- Sign language - milk, bath, eat, change diaper, nap, all gone, hello/good-bye
- Body parts she knows & can point to - toes, belly button, ears, tongue
- Teeth - 7
- Favorite book to read alone - The Cat in the Hat
- Favorite book to read to her - My Pretty Kitten (at least that was her favorite yesterday)
- Favorite Lovey - Rattone the Rat
- Favorite Pastimes - Chasing the cat & playing in the bathroom
- Favorite Food - Bananas
July 23, 2007
Her nursing strike, diarrhea, crappy mood phase from last week is over - thank god! She has been so much fun these past few days.
We went to our 4th first birthday party on Saturday night and she partied hardy with all her friends. We took a plate of food home for daddy and on the way back Ruby got hungry. The only thing on the plate that was edible for her was a corn dog (albeit a turkey corn dog). I handed it to her thinking she would play with it but before my eyes the kid starting noshing away. She ate that whole corn dog! This girl is no longer a baby, that's all I have to say.
July 13, 2007
Today is my 5 year wedding anniversary with Rene. What a crazy, up-and-down 5 years it has been. Things are really good right here, right now. We are learning to take each other & this marriage one day at a time. The good days inspire us for more good days and the bad days give us something to learn from. In fact we got in a big fight yesterday morning and by 10:00am we had actually worked through it with a lot of learning on both our parts.
Last night Rene organized a babysitter and an evening out with a bunch of our friends at one of my favorite San Diego joints (The Turf Club). I got all dolled up and did my makeup & hair. I felt really sexy for the first time in LONG time. Rene was so cute on the way down there in the car. He was obviously really happy and chatty. I said something about it and he said, "Hell yeah I'm happy, I'm goin' out with my girl!!" It felt like we were on a real date. We even ended up at a karaoke bar and I got up and sung (well, I really doubt you can call it singing). We had a lot of fun!! It felt really good to be out and about. Although I was checking my phone for babysitter calls all night and I found myself constantly trying to talk about something other than Ruby.
Today the three of us going to the beach to celebrate our anniversary as a family. On our honeymoon in Tahiti we said that every five years we would go back. Well, here we are five years later and no Tahiti. But we do have a beautiful, perfect San Diego beach five minutes from our house. Not bad at all.
July 12, 2007
Now, if I can only get little Ruby to stop this nursing strike - I can go back to practicing what I preach!
July 11, 2007
I've done tons of research on this subject, as this is our second nursing strike. The first time around I felt horrible. I felt like an "empty-nester" - she doesn't need/want me anymore. I soon discovered it had nothing to do with how she feels about me but just about everything to do with her new teeth. Imagine how frustrated she must be. This time around I'm trying to stay much more calm; knowing that this strike won't last forever. I thought I was done pumping but I had to drag that thing out again. I did not miss feeling like a electronically expressed cow - sexy!
It does illicit the fear of this soon being over though. I truly cherish my bonding with her and am sad to imagine a time when I'm the one person who can and will embarrass the hell out of her.
For now, I just pray that she'll find her way back to the comfort of my breast. Boobs rule!
July 10, 2007
As for Ruby...
The teeth are coming in like crazy!! Check out this chart of how & when they are supposed to come in...
July 7, 2007
I would like to introduce you all to my daughter, Ruby Jocelyn Silva. She was born almost a year ago on 7/24/06 at 1:13pm. She was 10 lbs-4 oz and 21.5 in long.
She is truly the brightest, most extrordinary, shining star in my sky. She laughs and smiles and babbles most of the day. She honestly rarely cries and if she does - it dosn't last long. She is such a happy baby - so full of life!
Be patient with me if I don't update this as regularly as I did with Bob - I didn't have my hands full with a newborn back then. My intention is to update this blog with her many developmental milestones and for my own proud mamma bragging :)