5 year anniversary

Yeah! I see the light at the end of the tunnel with this nursing strike! She actually took my breast twice this morning! I knew if I just had patience she would find her way back. The poor thing has just felt awful the past few days with these teeth coming in. She took a four hour nap yesterday and when she got up she had a pretty high fever. She ate a banana like it was THE most amazing thing EVER! The doctor ordered Tylenol & Pedialyte and by this morning she was back to normal. I'm assuming whatever tooth it was that was causing so much grief finally popped through - I wouldn't know since she won't let me in her mouth to check it out.

Today is my 5 year wedding anniversary with Rene. What a crazy, up-and-down 5 years it has been. Things are really good right here, right now. We are learning to take each other & this marriage one day at a time. The good days inspire us for more good days and the bad days give us something to learn from. In fact we got in a big fight yesterday morning and by 10:00am we had actually worked through it with a lot of learning on both our parts.

Last night Rene organized a babysitter and an evening out with a bunch of our friends at one of my favorite San Diego joints (The Turf Club). I got all dolled up and did my makeup & hair. I felt really sexy for the first time in LONG time. Rene was so cute on the way down there in the car. He was obviously really happy and chatty. I said something about it and he said, "Hell yeah I'm happy, I'm goin' out with my girl!!" It felt like we were on a real date. We even ended up at a karaoke bar and I got up and sung (well, I really doubt you can call it singing). We had a lot of fun!! It felt really good to be out and about. Although I was checking my phone for babysitter calls all night and I found myself constantly trying to talk about something other than Ruby.

Today the three of us going to the beach to celebrate our anniversary as a family. On our honeymoon in Tahiti we said that every five years we would go back. Well, here we are five years later and no Tahiti. But we do have a beautiful, perfect San Diego beach five minutes from our house. Not bad at all.

breastfeeding manifesto - i love it!

So I finally found someone out there who unapologetically feels the same way I do about public breastfeeding. Most of my other mom friends seem to be fine with breastfeeding in public...with other mothers but are soon to cover up and/or remove themselves & baby when men or other non-familiar people are around. I, on the other hand, could care less who is around, watching, or judging. Call me a free-spirit, call me an exhibitionist. Both might be true; however, rest assured that my goal in public breastfeeding is not to "show 'em my tits!!" as in some Girls Gone Wild video but rather to feed my child. What an amazing gift it is that my body has not only created and grown her from sperm & egg but that I can now nourish and sustain her health and vitality from my own body. My body, which by the way, has suffered from cancer and cancer treatments in the past. My body had all but given up on me a few years ago and now it can grow & feed a new life. Are you kidding me? I'm not hiding/covering/being discreet about shit!!!! I am so amazingly thankful for this body. This is my superhero power - I can breastfeed!

Now, if I can only get little Ruby to stop this nursing strike - I can go back to practicing what I preach!

nursing strike redux

So Ruby is on a nursing strike. Hold off the boobie!! It actually seems offensive to her to even think about mommy's milk - be it from my breast or a bottle. She's basically not into anything to "drink" other than water. She's hungry as all get out though. She'll gobble up just about anything I put in front of her.

I've done tons of research on this subject, as this is our second nursing strike. The first time around I felt horrible. I felt like an "empty-nester" - she doesn't need/want me anymore. I soon discovered it had nothing to do with how she feels about me but just about everything to do with her new teeth. Imagine how frustrated she must be. This time around I'm trying to stay much more calm; knowing that this strike won't last forever. I thought I was done pumping but I had to drag that thing out again. I did not miss feeling like a electronically expressed cow - sexy!

It does illicit the fear of this soon being over though. I truly cherish my bonding with her and am sad to imagine a time when I'm the one person who can and will embarrass the hell out of her.

For now, I just pray that she'll find her way back to the comfort of my breast. Boobs rule!